#he's been doing so so super well in this playthru so far

[zayvr]

pulling out baby pictures of my slug, PEACH from my wallet . so i can looking at him and so u can looking at him also he'z maed of lava so looking him up close, is hard

[adaptacy]

i am obsessing so hard over gale. like, i kid you not, i started out HATING him cause he was eating my artifacts and seemed completely useless in battle. but then i started a second playthru with my bf and i was like 'well im romancing astarion in my main so i GUESS i'll go for the other pretty boy'

....

it was the start of a very, very, very extreme brainrot fest.

so! as I learn more abt him (im in the shadow cursed lands rn, haven't had the sex scene with him yet so i dont know his character super well/im not super confident in portraying him) take this little snippet of wizard angst cause he needs a hug and i wanna give it to him :)

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“I reckon it’s sweet.” 

“Sweet?” 

“Sweet,” he clarified. “And smooth. Dare I say… simple. I must admit, I was somewhat befuddled with the absence of a necessity for complexities; you required no books, no training, no vexatious intricacies– it came naturally.” He remained fixated on a point off in the distance, perhaps watching the quiet rippling of the lake, just off the camp’s coast, undisturbed by the activity that usually stirred during the day. 

Peace was a mercy, and an uncommon one, but you felt it, here, with him. Like the eye of the hurricane that stalked you throughout Faerûn, the bloodshed and chaos that ruled your everyday life was far from absent, but it was silenced. Screams that echoed in your ears were muted, momentarily, granting you a glimpse of life before your adventure, before the hunt, before the cult, before the illithid’s influence. It would be short, but the fact that it occurred at all was a miracle. 

“Like wine.”

“Wine?” You chuckled, shifting a little closer, his arm coming to wrap around your shoulder, further warming you. 

“I predicted bitterness. A bite, or a sting. I’ve read stories about flavorful affections such as these. Stories. Can you believe it?”

“With how much reading you do? I can,” you hummed, resting your head against his side. 

“Tales, I believed them to be. I’ve seen love. Red love. Irascible, fractious love. Impotent, paralyzing love. Love like a raging sea. A love that I trusted. A fool I must’ve been.” There’s a short, woe-rooted chuckle that escapes him followed by a thin exhale out of necessity, out of defense. You knew who he was referencing, but you couldn’t bring yourself to mention the name. “Any sane soul would regret it.”

“Do you not?”

“There’s little time in this life– certainly, it offers no such room for regrets. I’ve wasted too many moonrises pondering the past.” His fingers graze your arm, and you allow your eyes to fall closed. “Many a wondrous thing I’ve witnessed. More than a man of my caliber should deserve. In a single lifetime, I’ve experienced more than a library's worth of literature could possibly cover.” He smiles, you can hear it in his voice. “From a mage’s best dreams to a direwolf’s worst nightmares– I’m sure I, myself, couldn’t have asked for a more thorough tour of what this plane, and a few others, have to offer.” 

“And yet there’s more.” Your remark is a light-hearted one, as you are sure everyone will have more to reflect on the closer you get to the cure you seek. 

But he sighs. A quiet one, restraint tightening his lungs, and you feel unease. “Amongst it all, I have even discovered what I once argued impossible. Simplicity. A priceless simplicity.” This time, when his arm moves, it brings you closer. He craves the contact, the connection struck between you. “Simplicity in love, of all things.”

Your eyes open to find his gaze no longer on the quiet riverbank, and instead on you. There’s a bruise on his left eyebrow, and a cut on the bridge of his nose. He’s pretty, even with the wounds, but you know they sting. A part of you feels guilty for seeing such beauty in his suffering. Deep down you know there is no Gale without suffering. 

At a glance, that’s all there is; a bruise, a cut, and a solemn smile. An exchange of pity for one another. Even for yourselves. An agreement, silent but strong. 

On further investigation, his eyes hold an unnatural glisten. Only then does it register.

“Gale…”

“It’s what’s best.” You sit up slightly, but you’re met with a gentle hush, and his smile grows, the dimples on his cheeks fired by an unknown audacity. “I’ve come to accept it. It is the decider of my fate– it always has been.”

“There are other ways,” you push out the words, and you find the bite, the sting, that he mentioned. In love, you find the pain. 

“Never did I imagine the world outside my tower to hold such beauties. Such contagious fragility. There are no books on this subject. No studies on this exchange of power. What is a puppet to do when he loses his creator? His puppeteer? When he can no longer stand, no longer dance, no longer perform? When obeying is all he knows, what does he do without direction?” 

He doesn’t sit up, he doesn’t stir. He looks back out to the waters. For guidance, maybe. For peace. For life. You’re left with no choice but to settle with the tide. A hand comes to rest on the dark imprint below his neck, desperate to find answers where the weave fails. 

“I have found simplicity. And, perhaps, that is the final step. I never imagined growing old. I suppose it isn’t meant to be.” He breathes, and you can feel the steadiness of his lungs. He isn’t scared. You can only wonder how long he’s contemplated this decision. “You see me. You look past the strings, my love, but that doesn’t mean they don’t still linger. I am but a man; I am no hero, I am no god. But if your safety is the only accomplishment I ever succeed in, I will lie satisfied in my earthly rest.”

“A few more days,” you whisper, pleading. 

“I only ask of you one thing.” Gale inhales, his heart pumping against your palm, pressing closer to his skin, desperate to feel him, to feel more than the orb, to feel more than Mystra’s design. You find his humanity in the tear on his cheek, the hair on his chest, the irregular mock of his heart’s rhythm. You find his humanity in his love, in his hopeless compassion, in his unwavering loyalty. “Don’t let that damned vampire even think about touching me.” 

He chuckles, and you do too, pulling yourself into his chest, hugging him close. He repays the affection, lips on the top of your head, his every breath lingering on your scalp. The peace remains, but you fear this may be your last serving of merciful tranquility.

You only hope it isn’t Gale’s. 

[enbyleighlines]

Leigh plays Tellius prt 7

I'm at the halfway point of PoR, so I decided to look through all the units I plan on using until endgame and compare their stats to their average stats for their current level.

To recap, here are the goals I set for myself:

No one dies

Get Ike and Soren to rank A

Get Ike and Ranulf to rank B

Max out Soren and Ilyanna's speed

Get Ranulf to his max level with as many capped stats as possible

Thus far, I have restarted for every death, and thus no one on my team has perished. Ike and Soren are at B rank, so they're on their way to that A rank. I don't have Ranulf yet, so I haven't made any progress on goal #3. Soren is 7 points away from capping speed with 13 level ups to go, whereas Ilyanna is 11 points away from capping speed with 21 level ups to go, so I think I'm on the right track for goal #4. And again, I don't have Ranulf yet, so no progress on #5.

Now let's take a look at my most-used units!

For this, I put a green up arrow next to any stat that is higher than their average, a yellow star to any stat that is the same as their average, and a red down arrow to any stat that is lower than their average.

First up: Ike!

Turns out that my Ike is not doing too hot! He's good for strength and HP, but every other important stat is lagging behind. Uh-oh! I'm probably going to have to be more strict about his level ups going forward, if I want to defeat the Black Knight.

Meanwhile, my Soren is doing pretty dang great! He's either at or above his average for every stat, which makes me really happy.

My Mia is also doing fantastic! She's above average in every stat except for magic, which is fine because her magic stat is entirely irrelevant anyway.

Oh, Ilyana. She's really not doing so great, aside from that speed. Which I guess is fine, since I'm mostly just using her to cap out her speed for Radiant Dawn, but still. It's a bit disappointing.

My Rolf has been doing super well, though! Look at all those green arrows. I was initially worried about him, because he started off getting really crappy level ups, even a couple of level ups that included absolutely no increase to any of his stats, but he eventually turned it around. Good job, Rolf!

So, it wasn't until I took this screenshot that I realized that her skill was at 4. Literally so behind where she should be that I gave her two red down arrows next to it. I mean, she's doing great otherwise, but damn. I cannot count on my Mist to dodge anything.

My Neph is doing pretty good, just a little below average in terms of speed. I gave her vantage on top of her wrath skill, so she's been absolutely annihilating foes on the enemy turns.

Kieran, my man! I have to say, he's been hitting it out of the park for me on this playthru. His strength is a little behind average, but I honestly haven't even noticed, because he's just been slaughtering every enemy I set him up against.

My Jill is definitely lagging behind in strength, which feels super unusual for Jill. Hopefully she makes up for lost ground in the next few chapters.

Oh, Astrid. She's probably been my biggest wildcard of a unit. She either gets great level ups or absolute garbage ones. Her strength has been so pitiful. But at least she's capped her speed, right? She actually capped it, like, several levels ago. But I didn't want to promote her early, since her speed was like the only thing she had going for her.

Boyd! Somehow I got an unusually defensive Boyd, which kind of goes against his class. But with skill and speed that bad, I am definitely not complaining about the extra cushioning.

Oscar! Like Kieran, I haven't really been worried about his strength. He doubles and crits enough that it really doesn't matter. Overall, Oscar has been really good to me.

Aaaaaand, that's it! Those are all the units I am using on a near-constant basis.

Next time, I have to try to re-recruit Shinnon. Wish me luck!

[sexysilverstrider]

Hey, I love your blog and reading your playthroughs! What do you think the best otome game for the switch is? I’m planning on getting one once midterms are over

hello hello! sorry for the late reply and awww thank you for enjoying my silly lil playthrus hahahaha youre so sweet for taking the time to give me an ask im happy now heeee

oooo well so far ive played four (4) otome games that have been ported to switch. ill list down the 4 with some brief details so you can decide!

Collar x Malice

arguably one of the best otome games made from otomate/idea factory. the story has a crime scene thriller kinda vibe and each route is so good! it has a sequel called collar x malice unlimited which is super optional since its just more fanservice/romantic scenes + additional route about the villains side of the story. i personally enjoy this game too because kaji yuki (my fav seiyuu) is in it and he voiced my favourite character of all <3 (not bias nope lol) to me it has a nice balance of angst comedy romance and drama. the topics they handled arent that problematic but i did get stressed in some of the routes due to the atmosphere it was delivering. BUT at the same time its a good kind of stress so i welcome it hehe. also the op and ed song slap so hard

also might i add that this game successfully made me love the villain of the story and i hate every living moment of it.

Piofiore: Fated Memories

like cxm this story is just as angsty and dramatic. but be warned: this story has a lot of trigger warning/problematic contents. basically it has topics such as sexual and drug abuse, noncon/dubcon, blood, descriptive descriptions of violence and gore. HOWEVER SO the problematic contents only exist in the bad ends of each route so if you dont mind not finishing the cg gallery, it can be avoided. HOWEVER 2 there are certain routes yangs route cough that deliver the problematic content even if youre progressing to the happy end.

now warnings aside, i genuinely love this game!! the mc is actually very strong willed and smart (as you do the happy and normal ends) and what i love about this game is that the bachelors arent the typical goody goody boys. they all have flaws and to me thats what i love in a character. there are some sweet and funny moments but honestly if youre looking for a more serious intense story who likes to dive into darker content piofiore is the one for you. also yangs voice is sexy as all fuck.

also also it has a sequel and im praying to God it gets localized and released next year i need more of these filthy bastards

Code: Realize - Guardian of Rebirth -

now this one is VERY story-focused. the general route before you get to be in the bachelors route is quite long. even when i speedran, it takes around mmmm nearly 30 mins before i get to be in the route i want? personally im quite neutral with this game. it has a more light-hearted content which weighs more than the angst and sadness it delivers. so if youre looking for a happier story with lovable characters this ones the game for you!

i should add however that it has a sequel that ties up some loose ends from the first story. and next year it will port its 3rd game thats more of an au with a happier side for the villains. if you have a ps4, i highly rec buying the ps4 version since code realize combines its 1st story and its sequel while the 3rd game is a diff cartridge. if you dont however, u can still enjoy the 1st game as it is. even the yandere of the game isnt as scary as the first 2 games i explained and really, to me hes just a sad baby and i love him ;w;

Cafe Enchante

this game is coming out next month 5th nov!! CANNOT WAIT HONESTLY so far what ive heard it has amazing reviews too and it has a more light-hearted fluffy content??? i know i said i prefer drama and angst but after the emotional roller coaster piofiore gave me i welcome this with open arms lol

also one of the characters is voiced by ono yuuki. who voiced silver in pokemon masters. and the protags name is kotone. i cannot NOT play this game. also junichi suwabe is in here too and he voiced a dilf. and you can woo a headless knight. an actual headless knight. personally i can already see myself loving this game.

[tumblunni]

What do you guys think about the names Dustin and Darcy for my protagonists in Let's Go?

Cos i really wanted to play the co op mode thing by myself, just so i can pretend this role in the plot is filled by two siblings and have a bit of fun roleplaying that. But i dunno yet how the co-op works and whether you'd be able to customize the avatar of the second player or if its just the default trainer? Or can you only play co-op if you have two separate games? Im planning to buy the other version anyway once i get more money, so it could be fun to play my first version with sibling one and then the second playthru is sibling two's turn to shine!

Oh and the whole reason i wanted to do this is cos i wanna try out the customization features to make some ocs now that there's no competitive online stuff unless you pay a subscription fee (LOL NO THANKS). Like..i always felt like i HAD to make my character me in xy/sumo/usum, otherwise its like lying online? But of course i cant actually make me because theres no nonbinary option or even remotely ambiguous outfits for either gender. And you cant have wild hair colours while i dye my hair 24/7 irl lol. Its silly cos like 95% of the gym leaders and other characters ingame have anime hair colours yet the player has to be normal? So yeah i cpuldnt really enjoy making this innacurate defanged version of myself yet i didnt feel like i was allowed to just make up a new character either. Closest i could do was give myself white hair like my old trainersona when i was 12, lol. I mean i guess thats my 'real hair colour' underneath the dye right now, if you think about it that way?

OH GOD PIKACHU CAN HAVE A LITTLE TUXEDO AND BOWLER HAT HOLY FUCK IM SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS BUT I WAS WATCHING THE IGN REVIEW AND THEY SHOWED PIKA BOWLER HAT PLEASE GO GOOGLE THAT VIDEO JUST FOR THAT 1 SECOND OF NEW FOOTAGE OF MY BEAUTIFUL CLASSY BOYE

okay where was i

Yeah! I think sibling trainers could be a good and unique way to handle a rival! Like having them be your sibling already establishes that rivalry. But it can be a soft and nice rivalry! I wanna go with that fun version rather than the full on angry exaggerated sibling rivalries you often see in kids media. Like i know that some people legit dont get on with their siblings and some people can even have a very gary esque full on rivalry thats sorta 'love to hate' or like..tsundere pretending you hate them. But personally i never had experience with that, i can never relate to those 'tfw u hate ur sibling and theyre always an asshole but lolll u love them anyway' posts. I only got to live with my little sister for a little while due to the catastrophe of abusive parenthood that was my childhood, and i lost contact with her forever when she was very young so i doubt she'd even remember me. *sigh* But like i don't think i only love her so much because i miss her! People say newborns and toddlers are the most bratty so like you'd think if i was gonna ever find her 'annoying' i would have done it back then. I was always just mega proud of her and whenever she'd be 'bratty' i'd be cheering her on and trying to protect her from mom. And when she'd try and pull pranks on me or practise play-fighting or whatever i was just like 'lol thats legit funny' and taking play-falls so she felt better about herself. Like we didnt have much power in that household so i felt like encouraging her pretending to be a wrestler would help her feel like she had some sort of control in some part of her life i guess? And just i wished i was allowed to roughhouse and run around and be all 'unladylike' and just enjoy BEING A KID when i was a kid, yknow? I always had legit fun being with her and legit enjoyed it and was legit proud and legit never annoyed. I just dont understand 'yeah she's annoying but i love her anyway'. I was only ever her rival as a play-rival to help encourage her to like.. Enjoy the things she enjoyed. Feel like someone else cared. I only ever acted like 'ha ha baby stuff yeah sure i hate hanging out with my sister" cos i thought i was SUPPOSED TO. I always felt so guilty doing it and so dissappointed cos id rather hang out with her than be a boring stereotypical teen tbh. I dunno, maybe this isnt typical for siblings and its just a sign of how badly we were raised? I was just real fuckin lonely and absolutely loved having a family member who loved me for the first time since my grandma died. Same reason i always used to act all 'i am too cool i totally am not soft for my lil sister' around my lil sister's dad. I really wanted him to love me too! I used to say swear words at him cos i thougjt he would thibk i was Cool And Adult?? I have soooo many cringe moments from that phase of my childhood. Man it hurts to think that i never actually did get to become that positive influence that protected my sister from my mum and let her know she was loved. Cos i was sent to live with my dad when she was like 5ish? And never saw her again and now im too scared to try and reach out to her again because 1: she probably doesnt even remember me, 2: theres a chance she believes my mum saying i was some horrible asshole who abandoned the family, 3: even bigger chance that contacting her could mean my mum finding me again and big fuckin risk of further abuse. Plus the awkwardness of introducing my trans self when she'd remember me as her sister and all. Sigh! All i can do is hope that her cool dad eventually got custody of her, and that he didnt turn out to be a secret bastard like when i met my own dad. He seemed good, but then again i was just a lil kid and my dad seemed good at first. Sighhhhhh...

SO UMM YEAH WOW I MADE MYSELF SAD

Anyway the point is that whenever i write siblings i'd rather write 100% unapologetic super loving love cos its wish fullfillment for me. This is also why in/cest shipping is a massive beserk button for me, good wholesome family relationships are REAL FUCKIN IMPORTANT and how DARE you corrupt that shit! Some people would fuckin KILL to have that wholesome family!!

Anyway lol thats why i'd like a Wholesome Rivalry for these sibling ocs! Like they challenge each other to contests along the way just for fun, and they react all 'wow my sis is the BEST' when you beat them, so hard feelings at all. And you dont JUST do rival stuff but also sometimes just hang out and have fun cos you missed each other. And if anyone threatens your sibling then THAT is the only time you see the Serious Sibling Power! Rival moments: ha ha lol bet ya cant beat me ooo im a scary villain LOL I CANT KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE HAHA! Giovanni punches your brother: *stony cold death glare from hell as tricksy prank sis turns into an unstoppable vengeance engine* Oh, but also the only other time they'd be serious is in their final battle together! Like most of the 'rivalry' is just competing to make the adventure fun and to help each other get stronger. But if sis/bro ever actually legit said they really want to fight to find out who's the best, and its like..important to help their self confidence, then i think bro/sis would respect that and go all out. Taking a fall and letting them win would be the most disrespectful thing of all! Oh, but i do think there would be one kind of battle like that during the story? Like in one of the more low stakes faux-rival fights the sibling actually does try and let you win, and the challenge is to try and lose against all odds. High stakes super failure battle!!! Imagine the evil team in the background like 'wtf' as these two run the most aggressively slow race of all time! XD

Oh and i kinda thought about different personalities for the two of them based on who you pick? Like i did like that aspect about brendan/may in RSE compared to other 'unpicked option becomes rival' characters in later games that didnt even have one personality let alone two. It just sucks that the personalities they decided to give them were 'female rival is super self concious and thinks youre better than her because youre a boy' and 'male rival is super ego and thinks he's better than you because he's a boy'. Boooo!

So instead of that the personalities i was thinking for these two would be less sexist lol. Male sibling Dustin is basically Wally so far? I need to develop him a bit more to make him a bit distinct, i mean its not like every single shy dude is identical. I'm thinking maybe mix him with all the wasted potential in Brendan? Like in the game they slightly hint at him having the ONE non stereotypical trait of liking cute teddy bears, and that made me think about how much better his whole plot would have been if it actually criticized his sexism and said that he only behaves that way cos he's overcompensating for being bullied for being 'feminine', yknow? And then in the manga they actually DO write him as super feminine, and even as a contest star who loves fashion and dressing up his pokemon! But then GAHHH they present it as some sort of fuckin 'character flaw', like he's shown to be selfish and superficial because of it. And the backstory is that him and the female protagonist used to be 'normal' until a traumatic event. Brendan was a Natural Fighting Prodigy until he saved his female friend from a wild pokemon and was so traumatized that he never wanted to fight again, while she wanted to learn to fight so she'd never need to be protected again. But this is not only presented as Wrong Ways To Be Gender but also like.. Fighting their natural instinct which still comes through?? Like male protag hasnt fought in YEARS yet whenever he's forced to fight he's just magically better at it than female protag who's been practising all these years to become his equal. Ha ha silly girl you can never achieve that! All you get is this patronizing 'well if you just tryyyyy girly things im sure you'll like it' plot and then you get rescued by him in the end because OF COURSE you do. Sigh! I cant believe they made me hate that pairing even more than the games did! So yeah i dont really wanna write Dustin as a jerkass who's secretly got synpathetic motives of internalized homophobia/sexism, cos i feel thats a plot very specific to my perceptuons of Brendan and id basically just have to make Dustin a clone of him and he wouldnt be able to shine on his own merits. Instead i'm just thinking of writing him as a 100% sensitive soul, and he still faces predjudice for not being that bigoted idea of an 'ideal man' but really the fact he doesnt bow down to their demands proves that he's the bravest person here.

And then I'm thinking maybe the female sibling Darcy is the older one and is a bit "gary ish"? Like eitjer way you still have a friendly and loving siblingness, but she's a bit more of a sass who is tsundere about admitting she loves her bro. But i dont think she's the cold or grumpy sort of tsundere, more like a trickstery tomboy? Bombastic loki jock sis! She can only be a bit abrasive with her bro cos she wants to teach him to be tough even when she's not there to protect him. But sometimes she can mess it up and make him feel like he has to change his personality in order to be tough, rather than letting him know she supports him in being "unmasculine" and just wants to help him find the confidence to stand up to people who bully him for it. Like she feels like she is 'weaker' than him in the sense that she worries too much about what people will think if she expresses her real emotions, yknow? Like theyre both suffering from toxic masculinity! He's suffering from the standard form where men who are too 'soft' are beaten down into that mould. Ans she's suffering from the problem where 'masculine' girls feel like they have to be '100% masculine' in order to be allowed to be themselves at all. Like back when i was a kid and before i came out as trans i always used to try and pretend to like sports ans like..cliche macho shit where you Cant Admit You Care About Your Friends and also i wasnt allowed to like ANY feminine things at all. I had to either follow the stereotype of femininity entirely or follow the opposite stereotype, i wasnt allowed to just reject stereotypes and like what i actually like. So yeah me realizing i wasnt really a girl has led to me embracing more 'girly' things than back when i thought i was one! So i think Darcy would have a similar arc but like..the cis equivelant? Just finds people who arent such judgmental pricks and stops having to conform to either of those stereotypes in order to keep fake friends who dont really give a shit about her. She can have a plot about both forced feminine and masculine stereotypes being equally limiting, rather than that shitty 'being masculine is a prison uwu every woman will be happier embracing her love of makeup' shit. That dominant narrative just made me feel like i was somehow wrong about myself whenever i didnt like 100% Of Sports All The Time, i must be somehow girly if i liked even ONE girly thing yet i needed hundreds of proofs if i wanted to be masculine. And like i wasnt just allowed to be neither! I wasnt allowed to like parts of both! I wasnt allowed to BE GODDAMN TRANS!!! So yeah i dunno if i'd go whole hog and make this character a trans man or a nonbinary person tho? I think she's just actually a cis girl who happens to be sporty and brash and likes a lot of 'masculine' fashion and hobbies. And she's just been made to feel self concious about it, as if she cant possibly REALLY be that unless she likes Every Single Boy Thing and wins at Every Single Challenge. Does anyone else remember that shit too? The girls have to win Every sports game against the boys in order to be 'one of the boys' but if you lose even one of them it somehow proves that you're inferior. Even though the boys lost 50 billion games to you and that doesnt prove theyre inferior! Like man she has sooooo many 'gary rivals' in her school life, thats why she loves going on this adventure with a kind brother rival who actually respects her! So her resolution would just be her staying the same but being more confident about it and saying fuk u to those fake friends. Same as her brother's plot, just they both face different specifics to the way this sexism affects them, yknow?

Oh but yeah when i did finally learn about LGBT stuff and realize i was trans it was Big Amazing cos even in the rare stories about Its Okay To Be Yourself it still left me feeling weirdly empty when the girl decides that yes she does wanna be a girl in the end. So i get that these plots might come off as queerbaiting if i write them badly? I need to make sure to make it clear that these characters 100% want to be seen as this gender and its just other people being fuckfaces and trying to define what their gender has to mean. I think maybe i'll try and mitigate this potential misunderstanding by adding different sorts of lgbt content. And, well, also cos i just want lgbt content in all of my stories because i am lgbt, of course! I'm 100% sure that Darcy is gay, and i think also maybe possibly Dustin is trans? Like, his plot is about being mocked for being a 'feminine' boy, but its also even more personal for him because he's a trans boy and he feels like he needs to change his personality in order to pass/he isnt really real because his personality doesnt fit the stereotypical image of a man. Like if you'd looked at the two of them back when they were identical twins, you probably would have expected Darcy to end up being trans if you were the sort of person who believes those basic ass stereotypes about 'boys who play with barbies and girls who play with trucks'. Or i mean maybe its the other way around and Darcy is a trans girl who still has a 'masculine' personality according to stereotypes? Or even both of them are trans and both face being told that they arent real because they dont fit the perfect stereotype of a trans person according to cis perceptions? Or maybe i'm overcomplicating things with all of this and it'd just muddy the message i guess. I might just keep it to them both being cis but also both of them like girls. And i can always apply my trans and other LGBT headcanons to other characters along their adventure.

Anyway LOL im rambling too much!

[lovepmd]

my PMD stories/memories

Blue Rescue Team: i don't remember the exact year i played this game, my memory of a lot of things is pretty bad lol. i just remember this was the first game i was really interested in and wanted to play myself. before this, my brother played a lot of video games and i would watch. i would play once in a while if i thought i could or wanted to try, but blue rescue team was the first game i played on my own 100% and beat on my own. i don't completely remember, but i believe the very first time i had that i ended up beating the game with was pikachu and eevee. i'm pretty sure eevee was the hero and pikachu was the partner. i don't remember what their names were or what their team name was. i had to restart this game so many times, figuring out how to play it well was quite a learning experience for me lol. this was the first game i took seriously and wanted to beat on my own, it just took a few tries to finally do it. i was soooo happy when i finally beat the game, and sad of course cuz of the ending, but still. it was the first game i played and beat on my own and back then that was a big deal. there are still things i do in video games that are a big deal lol, mostly cuz i couldn't do them when i was younger. after that first time, i remember restarting the game several times and using different teams. i think i only beat the game with a couple more teams after the first one though, either it again got too hard for me or i got bored. i remember there was even a point during that first playthru i full on quit cuz i was so frustrated. i THINK i was stuck at sinister woods....i just remember something about team meanies, could've been a later point. i did eventually go back and continue playing and finally got past that point and kept going. i'm so happy i got into mystery dungeon and that blue rescue team was my first game. while looking back at it the gameplay and some mechanics aren't that great, it still helped me get into this series and buy every game after it when they came out.

Explorers of Darkness: i remember getting this one next instead of time cuz i was one of those kids that liked goth/dark stuff. yeah, it's lame i know lol. there's not a whole lot i remember about playing this one, but i do know/remember that i only played it thru once and never reset it. it's still Blaze the hero cyndaquil and Lagoon the partner piplup of team reliance...i have 133 hours in the game apparently lol. i did evolve them fully as well i remember doing a lot of crying, and i remember loving grovyle SO much. it definitely became one of my favorite games at the time, and despite restarting rescue team a few times, i just couldn't let go of this original team

Explorers of Sky: now uh, with this one it's interesting. i remember preordering it at my local gamestop and when i went to pick it up, i also got the animated special dvd, which they didn't tell me i would get when i preordered? so that was a nice surprise also i ended up being a little overconfident when playing this the first few times. once i knew it was the same story as time/darkness, i thought i'd be able to breeze right thru it...i was very wrong lol. i got stuck so many times and restarted SO many times and i tried with so many different teams, and my main problem was that i was trying to rush thru it as fast as possible...which i obviously couldn't do. i ran out of items super fast, i wasn't grinding for levels, and i suffered for it. i remember i got as far as palkia's spacial rift in one playthru as a vulpix and shinx team, but i had no more reviver seeds...you can imagine what happened. i had to quit for a while after that. finally FINALLY i used a team of a totodile and charmander, and i played VERY carefully and gathered up so many items and everything, and i FINALLY beat the game and did all the special episodes. it took wayyy longer than it should've for me to do that. and that was the last team i reset over in order to make team key

Gates to Infinity: i remember this game being hard for me for a while simply cuz of the change from 2D to 3D graphics, it was a little jarring at the time. my first team in there was a snivy and oshawott, and i loved them both dearly. interestingly enough, one of my brother's friends was trying out the demo of the game for a bit and even got the game and got as far as umbreon's appearance and going to find espeon. i don't think he continued after that, mostly cuz he got busy with other things, like being an adult. he was though, the first person i actually knew that also played the game, and while he never finished it, the fact that he played it at all made me very happy. i also remember seeing the the munna twist coming, or at least having one of those "that was too easy, something's wrong" feelings (i had a similar one back in darkness when grovyle was caught) there was a lot i liked about the game and i only restarted once in order to make team cali

Super: so i've technically played this game 3 times, only twice did i beat it. the first time i played it, i was rushing a little, and i wasn't really playing it well/carefully enough. i got as far as the fight with entei, and i BARELY beat him. so i decided after that the best option was to restart and play more carefully the second time around i did much better and manage to beat the game. my original team was a chespin and fennekin i remember when i beat the game and fennekin disappeared, i curled up on my bed and cried for a while. i was SO heartbroken about the switch around twist, it got to me hard and that one moment post game...even doing it as team fate i cried. when you go try to get mew back and hero has a moment where they flashback to watching partner disappear, that moment REALLY gets to me fun fact though, during that entei fight when the scarves first activate and you see the tree of life for a couple moments, i told my friend about that part cuz it was so amazing to me about the evolving thing lol, and when i mentioned the tree, she IMMEDIATELY said "oh, i bet that's xerneas" and i was kinda "uh, ok, sure" and moved on so imagine my face later about that lol

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i can’t be fucked to find the last reblog from like last week where i was talking about watching along w/ an amnesia rebirth playthru......was talking about how the atmosphere / environments ruled and i was intrigued re: the story/mystery, and how the sort of combat?ish? stuff was Something, like, idk it’s just very funny to fire a tank in an amnesia game even though that was to like, solve a “puzzle” vs taking out an enemy. no further thoughts on that really, it seems to be much more difficult to die in this game? so far there’ve been no deaths in the playthrough i’m watching and i’m wondering if you even Can die, which, from a gameplay mechanic, tbh maybe they don’t even need to have it be possible for the player to die for everyone to like, react as though a death will happen if they’re being chased and shit. and seems like maybe there will be a Story Explanation for the fact that tasi seems to be like infused with vitae or something, i didn’t forget the “wow i thought my legs were broken after i fired the tank and it flipped over like 9 times, but now they’re not. weird” moment.

realized quickly this is just like a rambling diary entry Musings On The 2 Hours Segment Of Amnesia Rebirth I Just Watched so a cut for everyone unless odds are you’re specifically interested in that game. also at the end i throw in a gif of a Monster Design Moment i thought was creepy and no one wants to see that

anyways re: the Lore bits of this story, i guess i’m sort of interested like. so we’re in the same place that daniel and co were fucking around in finding orbs? daniel’s name was mentioned once in a letter, alexander’s also, herbert or whoever leaving diaries or something, brennenburg apparently a person who alexander must’ve named the castle after, and i forget the dead person who you first encounter in The Other World who is like “remember me as the first human to Travel to this place” and i’m like yeah i forgot. the Other World sure is interesting, not sure if it’s like oh this is alexander’s place, or is it an in-between world that all Travellers go through from one world to another?? liminal space??? i didn’t even mention last time what i thought about the amulets and portals and teleporting between worlds like. interesting mechanic, i like the effects, the other world is pretty Fucked Up and now that we’re getting into some sort of mechanized vitae-extracting place talking about factories and harvesting it’s like wow first of all, pretty fucked up, second of all, are we making like vitae-harvesting something like capitalism......word

the Shadow being back is fun as well, still not sure i get what exactly its deal is, or the orbs’s deal, or etc, and we sure keep talking about some like divine beings like okay uh having trouble keeping track of all that but seems like someone else is like Latent Within Tasi rn helping her read other languages in tablets and i’ve gotten to the bit where she like hulk kills richard and she’s not supposed to get mad or she starts channeling....whomst?? guess we’ll find out. lore-wise though i do not care about all these babies and this extremely abstract Maternity thing of Have Baby.......i also don’t really super care about the less abstract maternity aka these little pieces re: alys. probably going to be plot relevant but idc. alys died or something right like let’s just get to that. whatever’s up with amari, i don’t care. i guess the memories are super drawn out b/c there’s just all these loading screens but like let’s goooooo i don’t care about the 23rd 4-sec clip about a baby existing. kinda fun that you can just like Have an orb in this game. jaunting around with it solving puzzles

sort of intrigued i guess about like. whatever was going on with leon all Become Monster b/c of being scared and in the dark all the time like, probably tied in with lore we got in the beginning or something, and how tasi’s all like “uh oh that could happen to me” and like, leon was having a real I Must Remember classic amnesia the dark descent moment in one letter, so like, now i’m wondering where the Alchemy Amnesia Elixir comes from, since that’s probably vitae-tech related Knowledge or something.....although daniel used it to Stop being murderous in a certain way and become murderous in another way, and oswald just like, had Amnesia times b/c he split more literally into two selves?? but both times the Better Self was the one who couldn’t remember......and feels like tasi sure might’ve done something to Contribute To The Problems around here, this might be her better self running around now too, but leon Forgetting as he becomes one of these hunting guys......different.....but ig the implication in atdd seemed to be that the monsters (except the kaernk) like, come from people?? iirc but i also think that implication was v Vague / tenuous

there was the bit with like a crapton of Sleeping monsters you had to get through and that sure was fun......also got some radio call from yasmin where the doctor like intervenes immediately so like, what’s THAT guy up to. nothing good i don’t think. don’t trust that guy either and who knows what tasi’s been up to. let’s all be antagonists and fight, that’s sort of how amnesia games go i guess. the protagonist has to confront an antagonist they forgot, and along the way remember the fucked up shit they both did......daniel vs alexander, oswald vs oswald, could be tasi vs the doctor, except that has not come up

gay rights!! at tasi fondly reminscing about how alex (i think was his name) and richard were in love, right after finding alex’s fucked up corpse. oh for literal bury your gays, love that we then go find richard and save him and kill him and harvest his vitae and neither of them having any kind of proper burial. nobody’s getting that in this game. also where is hank!!!! the good nice leader guy. hate that i care what has happened to him and we haven’t found out yet but keep being reminded about how cool and noble hank is and i’m so sure he’s Just Fine out there. like, it’s already both Fun like, from an abstract game sense, to keep running into actual people whose stories are involved with ours, but it’s like, oh no you have to leave behind leon who’s all fucked up but everyone hated him and he like is mad at you for having a husband already and friendzoning him like that? but it’s still like, messed up leaving him behind in the darkness sewers forever regardless of what his personality is, i’m sure that sort of scenario wouldn’t be even more fucked up coming from everyone’s fave, hank.......also, interested at finding out what the passage of time is doing around here and if we’re keeping things like, linear or what

uhhhhh i wanna see more of the fucked up Other World and whatever problems it has going on OH YEAH epic soma moment when you disconnect someone from the vitae??? like how long has this person been there!! what’s going on around here. interested to find out. interested to see some more big fucked up mechanized stuff, i always think that’s creepy. like one of my fave bits from machine for pigs was just whenever you take the elevator and it’s like whoooaa that’s a BIG machine. like, yikes!!!

and i wanna confront this doctor like what’s he doing. i know tasi is a bit Untrustworthy Perhaps on top of unreliable but like, him too.

also i like this body horror from leon monster. like hey the design isn’t wild n weird like atdd style but going the Very Weird Posture Route is a solid approach like, i see this and i went like ooo creepy

oh right and it was fun that like, leon fluctuates between maybe sort of his normal self and his um. hunter self or whatever like either pissed off and intent to Getcha or like seeming to want to warn tasi to leave / get away. rip i guess

meanwhile i found this re my own jokes about atdd

rip to daniel, we’re a hot minute in the future. i cherish that silly protag still

[builtinadaygames]

itchy tasty: Free Games on itch.io, issue #3

Hi, I'm Kevin Beissel and I make videogames under the name Built In A Day (@builtinadayKB).

This is the third post I've done about games on itch.io, you can read the others here or you can read them on my personal site, builtinadaygames.com/blog

This post is slightly different than the others.  The devs covered in this post have released well-regarded indie games thru publishers like Devolver and Adult Swim (Terri Vellmann and Andrew Morrish) or self-published on platforms other than PC (Powerhoof).  The previous posts focused on devs with only self-released work (and no titles on Steam).

I had played games by all three of these devs on Steam and was pleased to find they had work posted on itch as well.  Since itch has all types of games, especially small and experimental work, it was fun to play something by these devs that could explore a bit more and see them try things that might not work in 'commercial products'.

Not to say that they're work on Steam is generic or traditional or (worst of all) 'safe'.  But there is value in watching an artist experiment, fail, take risks, embrace weirdness and just try stuff, whether they 'succeed' or not.

So, my motivation for this post is basically two-fold: to let other gamers know that itch has cool, experimental work by devs you already know and love, and to encourage devs of all types to keep making new stuff (especially the small or weird ideas they have).

Here are the ground rules:

The purpose of this series is to cover some of the free games on itch.io, from a developer and fan perspective.

Before we get to the games, I just want to clarify why I'm doing this and what I hope it accomplishes.  So here's the what, why and how:

The WHAT

Discuss free games available on itch.io

I've got a list of profiles to check out, but please send along any recommendations.

There are no restrictions on genres.  The whole point of this is to be curious and ask questions.  So no dumb rules like "No walking sims" or "No puzzle platformers", which would prolly eliminate half of the available games anyways.

The WHY

I want to become a better developer and playing experimental/small/art/trash games should help.

Getting an audience is hard and getting constructive feedback is even harder.  I can't help the devs covered in these posts with the former but maybe I can with the latter.

The HOW

There is no rating system.

There is no alter ego here, these are not 'angry' reviews.

These aren't even really reviews.

The goal is to focus on the design choices that were made and discuss the reasoning behind them.

I don't really care about being right, I don't really care about sounding smart ("Yeah, no shit" the reader grumbles), I don't really care about agreeing with you.  I'm more interested in looking at the hierarchy of ideas (to borrow a phrase) that form game design.  By working at the ends and working in the middle we can find out more about it, right?

Enough with the formalities, let's get started.

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Profile: Powerhoof (@Powerhoof, powerhoof.com, powerhoof.itchi.io)

Games: Murdercide 2017 and Peridium

Style: point and click adventure games, cyberpunk/comedy and horror/suspense respectively

Powerhoof is the two-man team (Dave Lloyd and Barney Cumming) behind 'Crawl', the excellent local coop dungeon-crawler on Steam.  They have a diverse selection of games on itch, but I'll be covering only three of them, tho each one is worth a look.

The point and click genre offers the chance to show off their narrative skills, with plenty of good dialog and superb voice acting.  Their games always have appealing visuals, so it was exciting to see that skillset paired with a good narrative.  It's also remarkable that both games are so different in tone, yet work so well.

Each game can be played in less than ten minutes, so describing the plot would spoil a huge chunk of your playthru.  So think of them like this: if you like Douglas Adams or 'Blade Runner' then check out Murdercide and if you like 'The Thing' or 'The Shining' then check out Peridium.  And if you like all those things and were also a fan of LucasArts adventure games, then for sure check out both.

Also, these games are much more about atmosphere than they are about the traditional elements of point and click games.  Yeah, you will have to use an inventory item to interact with some scenery, but none of it gets in the way of the setting and the story.

If I'm not mistaken Powerhoof has hinted at doing a full-length adventure game someday.  I've been mistaken before tho (turns out if you mix an acid with a base you get a reaction, you know like mixing drain cleaners?), so they'll prolly make something else that's dope.

Game: Riders of Rhea

Style: top-down, action, roguelike

Elevator pitch: It feels like an 8-bit version of 'Mad Max'.  I guess this is the perfuntory part where I point out that Powerhoof is based in Australia.  But this elevator ride is almost over, so fuck it.

You ride on a motorcyle thru a desert wasteland and track down groups of enemies using a mini-radar.  Another panel displays stats about your bike (armor/shield, heat, speed).  When you defeat enemies you get random drops, usually a small decrease from one skill (-1 usually) and a larger boost to another skill (+2 or higher).

The controls took awhile to get the hang of, but I eventually could take on small groups.  I can get overwhelmed easily (are we still talking about the game?) but that level of challenge makes each success feel more satisfying.

I've been searching for interesting action games lately and this one certainly fits.  Great minimalist art-style, nicely blends offensive and defensive tactics, and has a 'one more run' charm to it.

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Profile: morrish (@int_main, andrewmorrish.net, andrew-morrish.itch.io)

Game: Tough Love Machine

Style: puzzle, pretty colors

Andrew Morrish has two games available on Steam, 'Super Puzzle Platformer Deluxe' and 'Kingsway'.  I haven't played the latter, but SPPD has a great concept, fantastic visuals, tight controls and a diverse group of playable characters.  I didn't know he had stuff on itch, but TLM was recommended by Steven Miller (@stevenjmiller37, who also has a bunch of cool games on itch too).  It's a great puzzle game: fun, intuitive and a joy to look at.

There are two hearts and two arms on the screen.  Using the arms (WASD for the left and arrow keys for the right) you reposition the hearts until they are either stacked or side-by-side.  This seemingly simple formula yields impressively deep results.

One thing I always look for in puzzle games is how clearly they visually communicate concepts and rules.  In games like 'Stephen's Sausage Roll' or 'Baba Is You', the concept and mechanics work seamlessly, because the visual cues and puzzle design are so well done.

Those games ('Roll' and 'Baba') force you to very carefully consider the space you're given and how the rules you know can be applied to them.  I know that sounds like something that ALL puzzle games should do, just like regular exercise is something that ALL people should do, but we know that's not the case.

So when I got stuck in 'Roll', it usually meant there was some part of the level I wasn't utilizing, despite the design/visual cues clearly pointing me towards it.  TLM does a similarly good job of keeping the puzzle design uncluttered and avoiding bullshit red herring solutions, another common puzzle game pitfall.

BTW, I haven't actually beat it yet.  I'm stuck on the level called "you might actually be getting worse".  My God, this game sounds like my ex-wife.

Just kidding, I don't have an ex-wife.  I'm not kidding about being stuck but don't spoil it for me.  You can spoil it for my ex-wife tho, she always hated surprises.  Or maybe she just hated me.

Whatever the imaginary case may be, just make sure you don't hate 'Tough Love Machine'!  You could say it's TOUGH not to LOVE it.  You could say that, especially if you wanted people to hate your writing style.

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Profile: terriv (@terrivellmann, terriv.itch.io)

Game: TANKITA

Style: roam-around tank-shooter

Terri Vellmann recently released 'High Hell' (which I'm very excited for) but I've been playing 'Heavy Bullets' for just about a year now and I love it.  I was a bit put off at first and it took awhile to develop effective strategies (I can get to level six out of eight so far), but a good run in 'HB' is super satisfying, even tho they all end in an abrupt death.

TANKITA (or 'Bounty Hunter Tankita') is a tank-shooter with nice 'roam-around' style maps.  Each map has bases to destroy or enemy waves to fight off.  All of it is done in a low-res style but with bright colors and appealing cartoon-style character/vehicle designs.

You control the tank's movement with the L-stick and weapon aim with the R-stick.  The left and right bumpers are your main and alt fire, and the A button is jump.

As much fun as the game is, the control style caused some mild frustration.  The only issue I have is with the jump.  Circle-strafing enemies is pretty effective, except you have to keep moving your right thumb to jump or risk taking heavy damage from missiles.

However this frustration led to a worthwhile thought experiment: If I were to remap the controls, what changes would I make and how much would they change other gameplay elements?

I'll preface this by saying (or writing, at least) this:

A lot of well-intentioned game design feedback suffers from a common problem: the proposed solution has far-reaching consequences and would alter so many facets of gameplay that the amount of work necessary would far exceed being just a 'small tweak'.

So, my first instinct is to eliminate the jump entirely and focus on the weapons.  The problem with that is the tank is now largely defenseless, so the enemy behavior and the map layouts have to change drastically to compensate.  For starters, the enemy's missile fire rate would need to be adjusted (even tho you can shoot them down with your own missiles) or the amount of damage they do has to be heavily nerfed.

My next idea was to eliminate the alt fire and just have the main weapon and the jump ability, and map them to LB/RB.  This allows a good balance between offense and defense, but still requires that many enemy/level elements be reworked.

I like the second solution better.  Either solution would take a lot of time, but the second has a higher 'ceiling'.  You could compensate for the lack of an alt fire several ways:

Create opportunities for 'massive' or 'chain' style damage - like lure a group of enemies near a fuel truck, pepper the truck with your main gun and watch the explosion cause a chain reaction among the enemies.  Incentivizes the player to group enemies together and utilize environmental elements, which would mean reworking each map's layout.

Have Contra-style weapon drops - sometimes you get just the right weapon and other times you pass it up.  It's asking a lot of the player to go thru a game (even a short one) with only one weapon type.  The control style is still simplified to jump/attack, but the player can still have some variety.

Still, 'TANKITA' is worth checking out, as is Vellmann's other work on itch.  I like his visual style and something like 'mundo lixo' is a good chance to admire the aesthetics without any pressing gameplay demands.  

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Well, folks, thanks for reading.  May other people indulge you to the extent that you've indulged me.

Love & Respect,

==KB==